God.

Yesterday was a really good day. I decorated Mike's room for his birthday while he was out as a surprise and then brought him to my house at 8 and threw him a surprise party.
Yesterday was a fantastic day
And today was good too. Until the end.
Today, Mike and I went to a baseball game i had to see for class. it was actually really fun. We had a good time. After we saw hottub time machine. Also really good.
Later, we went to Mike's house and just hung out. He fell asleep so I went on the computer to look at facebook. I type in "f"

fiona's. fucking. blog.

yes. mother fucking fiona fuckign fick's fucking blog.
Obviously, as a person who does have an ex (ish), I know that sometimes you just have to look. its perfectly fine. I don't care. I don't care.
But when that fuckign name came up on that fuckign computer to say I lost it is to say the least.

Mike woke up because I was shaking so damn hard from either anger of seeing her name or that goddamn pit in my chest reopening.

fiona fucking fick

and i told him. and he got upset and tried to lie adn i called bullshit saying the computer doesn't freak out and open websites. so he finally confessed adn sadi yes, i did look. and i told him, okay. that's fine. we all look at ex's. it's just a thing.

just dont. do it. again. or talk to her. or...anything. nothing. just. no.

I calmed down after many apologies, tears, hugs and "i love you"s. we laughed and joked again. I felt better. i went home and festered in my mind for a while and thus birthed this post.

cheese and crackers...



...
and then of course as the stalker i am i looked at it.
>>
URG!
Urg!
urg.
ur.
ug.
okay im done. haven't seem my grammar this bad in a long time.

bah fuck. whatever.
later.